Hello Lovely People!
I keep disappearing, and it’s due to a little thing called LIFE. Things have been hectic, and I’ve been trying my hardest to find a balance between work and home, and I’m failing miserably at it. So, I decided to finally speak my mind on something that I believe has something to do with my incompetency in being Super Wife: Gender Roles.
I’m constantly seeing articles on what exactly the woman’s role in marriage is supposed to be. Everyone seems to have an opinion on our life, and what the best path for us to be on should be. But I have some news for these writers: You have NO idea what you’re talking about.
Just because we got married, doesn’t mean we’re supposed to transform into this barefoot and pregnant stereotypical image of a wife. Just because we got married before the age of twenty-five doesn’t mean we should have a baby the minute we get home from our honeymoon. Just because we live in a big city doesn’t mean we should be “that” power-hungry couple, just trying to climb the social ladder, and if we got married in a small town, it doesn’t mean we have to sit at home all day long.
Not everyone’s life works for everyone else.
Take my life for example. I get up at five in the morning to go to work. I work until 5 in the evening, then come home and do my housework and cook supper. Weekends consist of catching up on whatever I haven’t been able to do during the week and making time to do something fun. Sunday is reserved for Church and family.
Now, if you were keeping track, I spend a total of 12 hours away from my home. My two dogs stay home by themselves all day, and have become accustomed to watching the hunting channel while we are gone. When I get home, I have from 6:30 until 10:00 to do whatever I need to do around the house, because I don’t believe that staying up any later is beneficial to my mood or my husband’s nerves if I don’t get my sleep.
Here’s the kicker. I get asked “well, why doesn’t your husband help you?” Well…ask him and you’ll find out. The house is my responsibility. The yard is his. He works all day physically, and I work in an office, so I should take care of the house when I get home.
As a wife, this is true. Biblically, I am responsible for the household. Socially, my place is in “the kitchen”. I have been truly struggling with finding a balance, and I’ve been trying to get it down now, before we have little ones and the house is once again thrown into chaos.
In Titus 2:3-4, Paul gives these instructions for all women: “train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands so that no one will malign the Word of God.” The Bible is clear that when children are in the picture, that is where the woman’s responsibility lies. The older women are to teach the younger women and to live lives that glorify God. Keeping these responsibilities in mind, an older woman’s time can be spent at the Lord’s leading and her discretion.
Proverbs 31 speaks of “a wife of noble character.” In verse 11, the writer praises this woman as one who does everything in her power to care for her family. She works hard to keep her house and her family in order. Verses 16, 18, 24, and 25 show that she is so industrious that she also moonlights with a cottage industry that provides additional income for her family. This woman’s motivation is important in that her business activities were the means to an end, not an end in themselves. She was providing for her family, not furthering her career, or working to keep up with the neighbors. Her employment was secondary to her true calling—the stewardship of her husband, children, and home.
The Bible nowhere forbids a woman from working outside the home. However, the Bible does teach what a woman’s priorities are to be. If working outside the home causes a woman to neglect her children and husband, then it is wrong for that woman to work outside the home. If a Christian woman can work outside the home and still provide a loving, caring environment for her children and husband, then it is perfectly acceptable for her to work outside the home. With those principles in mind, there is freedom in Christ. Women who work outside the home should not be condemned, and neither should women who choose to work inside the home: both are considered devout women of the Lord.
So, for those who condemn women for working outside their homes and “letting someone else raise their kids”, shame on you. She is sacrificing time with her family to provide a future for them. Women who work outside the home and still manage to have a safe and cared-for environment in their home should be thanked by their families more than ever.
I don’t have children of my own yet, but I’m starting to realize exactly how my mama felt when she would get home from work and have so much to do. She worked all day, then came home and worked most of the night. She helped us do homework, cooked dinner, prepped lunches, gave baths, did laundry, cleaned house….everything that needed to be done, she did.
So, my point is, I’m still here. I’m just muddling through the piles of laundry and trying to make the best of things. I’ll figure it out one day!