…for everyone else?
Now just hang on a minute, I know the mama bears reading this are probably ready to rip my head off.
I’m not currently pregnant, but we are working on it. The past few weeks have been..interesting…to say the least, and I’ve kind of found myself in a funk about the whole thing. Already feeling not great about the whole trying to get pregnant thing, I sucked it up long enough to go visit family and meet my newest little cousin who was born three weeks ago. She’s so tiny and delicate and I couldn’t wait to get my hands on her! Of course, with there being a new mommy and a newborn sitting there, the talk turned to all things maternity: how’s the baby sleeping/eating? How’s big brother handling it? How’s mommy handling it? And Kelli answered all of this with absolute joy and grace.
Then the conversation took a turn….
(I’ve attached some funny pictures to express how I was feeling about the interrogation…they made me giggle anyways)
“Allie, it’s time you have one, don’t you think?”
“The way she’s going, I’ll have one before she does!” (my sister’s comment)
“You hold that baby, maybe I’ll get a grand baby out of you soon!” (my mother)
“No, we need at least 4-5 more years before you have a baby” (my dad’s comment)
He quickly retired to the living room with the rest of the men)
“We’re trying, hopefully in the next few months we’ll get lucky!” (my response to all the cackling and questioning)
and then came this comment…
“well you better not be fat and pregnant at my wedding! I don’t want you to be a cow on MY day.” (you guessed it….my sister.)
If you’ve read most of my last posts, you’ll see that me and my sister do not get along…at all. We can’t tolerate each other for more than a few seconds at a time, and it has been a very trying time learning to keep my mouth shut and not feed her ego. This isn’t the first time she’s made this comment, and the first time she said it I told her if I was blessed enough to be big and pregnant come March 2017, that if I was going to be such an eyesore for her, I wouldn’t ruin her day by showing up. This time, I just pretended I didn’t hear her.
Now, other’s have told me when I should try and get pregnant for different reasons, like my mother wants me to have the baby in April or May so by the time my maternity leave was up, she would be off work for two months (she’s a teacher) and could watch the baby for me. That would be completely fine with me, if I could absolutely control when we get pregnant. But, having a baby in April or May would put me being gone from work at the peak of our busy season, and I don’t think they’d appreciate me being gone for 12 weeks during that time.
And, I mean, there is only like a 25% chance each month that a perfectly healthy couple will get pregnant, and I’m not going to bank on that percentage, so yes..we are currently trying… but I’m not going to plan our child being born around everyone else’s schedules. We need to have it all planned around our OWN schedules, and honestly, maybe not being planned out would be the best blessing for us.
Now-a-days, everyone is so worried about every little detail and time that they forget the most important things in life. I do not want to be so worried about trying to get pregnant that I forget that my husband is still my husband and not a baby machine. I don’t want to forget that my body isn’t defective each month I get a negative, that I am purposefully and wonderfully made to be more than just an oven. I don’t want to be so worried about what everyone else thinks and wants that I forget the true blessing that we have been given, and how to make his/her entrance into the world safe and as easy as possible.
I’m gonna go ahead and put this out in the universe: My child will not have their life shuffled around to accommodate everyone else’s agenda. My pregnancy will not be based on everyone else’s “best for me” timing. My family will not be put through the ringer to make everyone else happy. I know it sounds like I’m worrying over nothing, but as you can tell, my family is kind of….imposing. Hopefully this won’t become more of an issue, but I’m willing to bet more will be said about that March wedding I can’t be fat for. Ugh. If I’m this riled up about it NOW, I can’t imagine how it will be with pregnancy hormones added.
Also, adding .gifs to posts is way too fun lol I’m gonna have to add them more often…I love the stitch one!